…goes to show you how far we’ve come since the Frankfurt School barely escaped the consequences of its own philosophy in Germany, plopped itself down at my alma mater, Columbia University, and promptly started lecturing its hosts about the wicked iniquity of this society.
So, thanks to the Vibrant MulticulturismTM that we’ve forced upon you, we never had to relive the horrors of World War II, in which we incinerated hundreds of thousands of so-called “enemies” in Japan and Germany, destroyed their countries, hanged their leaders, and then rebuilt them in our image. We managed to wrap those conflicts up in four distressingly brutal years, whereas our good war in Afghanistan, which the last time I looked didn’t have an army anywhere near the caliber of the Wehrmacht, has merrily gone on for ten years, with no real end in sight. Progress!
For in our war against you, we are in total solidarity with our “radical” Muslim brothers, and even if it means never hearing Mozart again, the complete destruction of every work of art in the museums, the elimination of every Blarney Stone and Starbucks (well, that one will hurt), and the burning of most of the so-called “great books” — especially that awful Divine Comedy, which places the vibrantly monocultural Mohammed in the eighth circle of “Hell” — and the deaths of the entire LGBT community, it will all be worth it, as long as you and your rotten country die.